Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Why do we need develop EI skills???

Honestly, I never heard tis question from anyone when I start talking about EI. And in the same time  I do believe that its important to have clear understanding what role EI plays in our communication.

Let's look at the different levels of communication and how they influence on each other.

First and most visible level is level of verbal communication. This level is about WHAT we pass through communication process. We think that words and content is the most important of all other communication channels, but its only one of several and only small ammount information goes through it. Even if its easiest way to express yourself, its only top of iceberg.

The next level is para verbal communication - it contains charachteristics of speech and answers the question HOW we say things. Our speed of speech, intonation, volume and etc. and through this level we can pass more than just content, but what is more important - information about how inspired and interested we are in the content, how confident we, what happens to us when we pass message.

Research shows that the non verbal communication transports 98% of all information. At this level we pass information about our emotional condition through gestures, posture, facial expression, our apperance and even smell.

The deepest level of every communication is the level of emotions. Our values, attitude, mood - all this components are hidden here. It seems that they are hidden, but actually we cant hide it - they will appear on the higher levels. Actually, each lower level influences on the higher level.

For, example: you can  prepare content and structure of your speach, but if the tone of your voice and intonation dont help you to pass your idea efficiently - the content does not have sense.

Even if you have interesting ideas supprting by para ferbal level - your body language should be appropriate. If not - you will not have the best result of communication.

And I am sure that you had in your life situation when you see person talking with you with a nice words in a good pace supporting message with efficiant gestures - but in the same time your heart does not believe what this speaker says. It happens becouse emotional level influence on all other levels. It uses all other levels do bring itself through different signs like a gates to emotional world.

its important to add that as soon as we  can build our communication at different levels (we can speak or we can use only body language) - we can also communicate only at emotional level. We can recieve information and we can pass information about our internal condition even if we dont use words or gestures.

TASK for EI-development:  The next time you will communicate with someone - try to pay attention on what happens at different levels with you and with your partner. Watch differencies at level appearance and similarities in them. Look how your emotional level appears at other levels and try to recognise using signs from high levels - what happens with other person on the emotional level.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Do you know difference between terms like EI, EC and EQ?

Reading a lot of materials about Emotional Intelligence topic  I noticed that people who write it mix this words a lot, so now I want to clarify it for you:
EI – Emotional Intelligence – is the innate potential to feel, use, communicate, recognize, remember, describe, identify, learn from, manage, understand and explain emotions.
And the main word here is word “potential” . Everyone has this internal potential , we all born with it – but the question each of us should answer and choice to make – how much of this potential you will use. Will you forget about this gift you have and live your life unconsciously, not paying attention to yourself or you will use as much as you have and make your life happy and fulfilled?
Your decision will lead you to your Emotional Competency, shortly– EC.
 Emotional Competence – it’s a combination of skills, based on your initial potential, which can be developed and practiced to make you more emotionally intelligent. It shows how much of your potential you use and how much your skills are developed. You can assess, develop and practice your Emotional Competence.
EQ  - Emotional quotient  - this term comes from IQ. It is used as measurement tool to measure you Emotional Competence.  Actually, till that moment there is no any evaluation tools to really measure your emotional skills. All excited   questionnaires  can only show your opinion about your skills. They can be used as a basis for development, but not for making any decision or conclusion.
I use triangle metaphor for showing connection and difference between all that terms – and as not all potential can be used and not everything from your skills can be measured – that’s why on each stage you will loose a part of the figure – that’s why its not square, but its up to you what kind of triangle to have and how much of the potential to use.
I encourage you to use as much of your potential as possible. And develop your Emotional Intelligence skills.

Movements of my soul...

I still feeling impressed by the idea I learned during my trip to Mongolia. In Mongolian language there is no any word for word “feeling” or “emotion”.
First  moment when I heard it I thought: oh, how probably they are not enough emotionally intelligent… But in a second I heard answer too my question: What you use to express it?”. And the answer was: “
To express this words we use “movements of the soul”. And it was the moment which change my attitude to Mongolia and Emotional Intelligence in general.
I posted this phrase in Facebook and got another  idea- “Feelings are the gate to our Soul”. And as you can see it became the main idea of this blog and it’s a main basis for my approach to the Emotional Intelligence now.
Idea about EI could be research from the 2 points of view. First - very practical – as a business training approach and second - very personal – more like psychotherapy. I don’t want to follow none of it.
Since the beginning  I have been looking for approach within which I can people who are in a good mental health still want to find a way to themselves, to become more aware about internal life and to learn how to use emotional internal word for reaching success in external social life.
I learned psychology in University and it gave me basic scientific knowledge about emotions. I learned gestalt approach and it gave me my personal ability to feel and be aware and really to become more emotionally intelligent in the terms of being in deep contact with myself. I learned coaching and it gave me tools to help other people to develop emotional competence skills.  This tree roads finally led me to the Mission I have now:  to tell people about EI using simple words and help them to develop EI skills using simple techniques and to let them to be aware about what happens in their internal  life.
That is why I do courses and coaching and consulting in the Emotional Intelligence and bring this idea into humans life – because I experienced it by myself that this skills help us to be more happy in our relations with ourselves and other people.
You can count on me if you want:
-         To  Assess your EI skills
-         To Develop your EI skills through trainings or coaching
-         To Learn more how emotional life happens in ourselves and other people
We can collaborate in different formats:
-         Trainings, presentations and Speech
-         Coaching
-         Skype consulting
-         Reading Blog
-         Going through  EI Assessment and getting feedback about results
So, I welcome you home.. I invite you to interesting journey...