Feelings are the gate to our souls. This Blog is a Gate to your Soul... The Mission is to let you to be more in contact with yourself and to use your internal world for supporting you in your external world.. Welcome!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Я-Робот... или о том, как мы притягиваем к себе то, что есть в нас самих..
Вчера вечером посмотрела фильм "Я-Робот" с Уиллом Смитом в главной роли. Не то, чтобы мне нравился фильм (под конец фильма оказалось, что я его смотрела еще в 2004 :), но один момент мне понравился и захотела им с вами поделиться.
Действие происходит в будущем, где многие бытовые функции выполняются роботами, все более и более становящимися похожими на людей не только внешне, но и эмоционально.
Главный герой-полицейский озадачен потенциальной опасностью, исходящей от роботов, заключающейся в нарушении ими законов и отклонении от заложенных в них функций.
Каждый раз, когда он оказывается рядом с роботами, они начинают выходить из строя. Ни с кем из его коллег этого не происходит, но он в прямом "на своей шкуре" ощущает правдоподобность своих предсказаний.
Никто не может понять, в чем дело, и почему роботы реагируют так именно на него и проявляют свои нарушения именно рядом с ним.
Оказывается, что этот полицейский в свое время пережил серьезную травму и часть его тела (рука, плечо и легкие) сделаны из того же материала, что и роботы, с которыми ему приходилось сталкиваться в работе.
То есть эти роботы реагировали на него, проявляя свои нарушения, как на того, кто "одной с ними крови".
Это отличная демонстрация того, как мы сами притягиваем к себе то, что есть в нас самих. "Почему окружающие так агрессивны ко мне?" или "Как неодобритлеьно ко мне относятся окружающие" - эти фразы в первую очередь звучат от тех, кто не принимает в себе эти аспекты своей личности, проецируя их на других.
Если в вас есть неосознаваемая агрессия - вы будете ее полуяать по отношению к себе, если у вас есть оценочное отношение к окружающим - вы всгда будете сталкиваться с оценками других людей.
То, что есть в нас - заставляет окружающих проявлять те же самые качества по отношению к нам. Только значительно ярче и сильнее. Реальность нам оказывает, кто мы есть.
Совет дня: понаблюдайте за тем, что вы получаете от мира чаще всего. На что жалуетесь и чем недовольны. Соотнесите это с тем, что есть как часть вашей личности. Путь к избавлению проявлений этих аспектов во вне - принятие ваших внутренних свойств.
Explore yourself with an interesing test :)
Today I would like to you invite to interesting journey to yourself...
This small test I learned many time agon and used for different reasons, different cultures and dofferent people. Annd it worked. People were surprised about results and told me that it was wonderfull expereience.
So I suggest you to join me and go a little bit deeper within yourself.
I will write a story and after each part of the story i will ask questions which i will mark by numbers.
And I suggest you to write your answers in comments (if you want to be ananimous - you are welcome).
The reason I kindly ask you to write your answers here is that others can see how it works, how different answers could be and it will deffinitly motivate more people to follow the test.
Ande as soon as I have answers from at least 5 people, i will post key to the test to let you know the answers :)
So, let's start:
Imagine that you are in the forest. Having a walk and enjoying the nature. And you found a small field full of berries. Q1 -What you will do with this berries? How you will behave?
After you finish with the berries you continue walking and suddenly at one moment you see big bear going straight to you. Q2 - What you will do in this situation?
So after bear left you continue walking deeper in the forest and see a jug with the water. You are quite thirsty. So Q3 - what you will do with this jug of water?
You continue your walk and at one moment you see the lake. Q4 - could you please describe this lake? What kind of lake it is and how it looks like?
So you continue going and finally approach the sea. Q5 - how you will behave with the sea?
And in a couple of minutes you see a hourse walking along the sea. Q6 - Could you please describe this hourse?
So you take this hourse with you and continue your journey. And at one moment you find a house with a stable. You dont see anyone around and house looks like noone is living there. You are tired. Q7- What you will do about this house? and Q8 - what you will do with the hourse?
After you had rest you left house and went further. And finally you see big wall - very high one and you cant see where it finishes. Q9 - what you will do about the wall?
This small test I learned many time agon and used for different reasons, different cultures and dofferent people. Annd it worked. People were surprised about results and told me that it was wonderfull expereience.
So I suggest you to join me and go a little bit deeper within yourself.
I will write a story and after each part of the story i will ask questions which i will mark by numbers.
And I suggest you to write your answers in comments (if you want to be ananimous - you are welcome).
The reason I kindly ask you to write your answers here is that others can see how it works, how different answers could be and it will deffinitly motivate more people to follow the test.
Ande as soon as I have answers from at least 5 people, i will post key to the test to let you know the answers :)
So, let's start:
Imagine that you are in the forest. Having a walk and enjoying the nature. And you found a small field full of berries. Q1 -What you will do with this berries? How you will behave?
After you finish with the berries you continue walking and suddenly at one moment you see big bear going straight to you. Q2 - What you will do in this situation?
So after bear left you continue walking deeper in the forest and see a jug with the water. You are quite thirsty. So Q3 - what you will do with this jug of water?
You continue your walk and at one moment you see the lake. Q4 - could you please describe this lake? What kind of lake it is and how it looks like?
So you continue going and finally approach the sea. Q5 - how you will behave with the sea?
And in a couple of minutes you see a hourse walking along the sea. Q6 - Could you please describe this hourse?
So you take this hourse with you and continue your journey. And at one moment you find a house with a stable. You dont see anyone around and house looks like noone is living there. You are tired. Q7- What you will do about this house? and Q8 - what you will do with the hourse?
After you had rest you left house and went further. And finally you see big wall - very high one and you cant see where it finishes. Q9 - what you will do about the wall?
This was the last question and I encourage you to answer in comments and soon to know something new about yourself :)
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Зачем это все???
Моя дочь обожает играть в пиратов, человека-паука и маленького ребенка… Немаленький и возможно немного странный репертур для 5-летней девочки. Но в каждой из этих ролей она может реализовать разные части себя, которые невсегда может проявить в обычной жизни. И каждая из ролей в тот момент, когда она ее играет, очень гармонично в ней проявляется.
Мать, жена, дочь, начальница, подчиненная, принцесса, стерва – вот немногие из ролей, которые играет женщина.
Сын, герой, муж, отец, босс – вот роли, которые берут на себя мужчины.
Помимо традиционного репертуара, сформированного обществом и социальным статусом, мы можем брать на себя различные роли из сказок, любимых фильмов, книг или просто собственных фантазий.
Я бываю шамаханской царицей, нежной феей, преданной Ассоль и коварной Миледи из «Трех мушкетеров».
Я бываю серьезным тренером-консультантом, заботливой подругой и эффектной бизнес-вумэн.
И каждая из ролей дает мне уникальный ресурс для успеха, требует от меня определенного костюма и грима, обязывает меня к выражению определенного текста.
Я нарочно использую утрированные театральные термины, чтобы показать, насколько выражение про людей-актеров, с которого я начала эту заметку, на самом деле серьезно отражается в нашей реальности.
Мы играем разные роли, эти роли-внутри нас и в каждый момент времени очень важно осознавать, какую роль вы играете, какой вам нужен грим и костюм и какой текст от вас требуется.
Каждая роль – это результат самовыражения. Выражение какой-то вашей внутренней части личности, оформленной с помощью внешних ресурсов. И это отражение должно быть не просто адекватным, но и эффективным. Это то, что мы называем управлением впечатлением, которое вы производите своей ролью на зрителей.
Я посвящаю этот блог всем тем, кто хочет быть более гибким в своем реперутаре жизненных ролей, кто хочет понимать и эффективно выбирать в каждый момент ту роль, которая даст больше ресурсов для успеха, кто хочет научиться использовать внешний образ для наиболее яркого отображения своего внутреннего мира.
Этот блог – половина большого блога, посвященного уникальному продукту, сочетающему в себе работу с имиджем и внутренним миром. Тому, как сделать так, чтобы внешний облик был в гармонии с внутренней ролью, и помогал, а не препятствовал ее реализации.
Здесь Вы найдете ответы на вопросы о внутреннем мире, образе и ролях. Во второй части блога вы узнаете о том, что вам может отобразить эти роли во внешнем образе.
Я приглашаю Вас в путешествии к самому себе и желаю вам обрести целый набор приемов, котоыре помогут Вам стать болшее успешными и гармоничными в театре своей жизни.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Feelings which dont belong to you....
Today i want to keep my promise which I gave you one month ago and tell you about one more type of feelings.
I already told you about primary and secondary feelings, but there is one more type which sometimes is much more difficult to deal with. Let call it Borrowed feelings. I will explain why..
Have you ever felt something that you consider as a strange feelings, something that does not belong to you or even something you dont want to feel? Or probably once you thought: "I feel it, but i cant explain why.. I dont have reasons to feel it...".
For, example, it happens that one feels deep sadness since childhood and you even cant explain why.. Or you can see child who is very agressive - without any visible reason....
Or other day you meet close friend who is very nervious, talk a little bit, come home and feel unreasonable anxiety.
This kind of feelings are called Borrowed feelings, becouse they come to us from other people. We take them from them and feel them instead letting them to feel it by themselves. Of course it happens unconsciously but still it happens.
The question - why?
There is several reasons.
First reason comes from idea that when we communicate at the deepesr level of communication (emoinal level) - we exchange our emotions with other people like we exchange words when we communicate at verbal level. We create common emotional field from emotional conditions of people involved in the communicative process and exchange all what we bring in the procees of communication. And if at verbal level we can filter what to accept or what not to, so at emotional level very often we dont recognize and dont filter - just recieve everything what other people send to us. and not only recieve but also adopt it.
So its very important to be aware about your emotional own condition - to be able to recognize what is yours and what was brought there from other people.
The second reason is more deeper.
it goes from system approach which states that we can not consider one person as separate from the hople system he is included. The most importnat systen for everyone is Family. With parents, grandparents and several generations before you.
Sometimes it happens, that in previous generations someone had difficult destiny and had to keep strong feelings - guilt, agression, fears or even love or happines - and this feelings go to next generation untill someone pick it up and start feel. It means that family as a closed system dont let our feelings go outside - it keeps them inside and can pass from generation to generation.
The same happens with our children. if you see something strange happens to your child and you cant explain what is it, look at what happens between parents. Very often our children shows us real picture of our partners relations. They are like mirrow of the family- becouse they can not pretend and just express what they catc from the "family field of relations".
Once I saw this scene. At the funeral of my father everyone kept themselves calm and unemotional. But my daughter showed terrible behavior which she never showed before and after - she yelled, cried, was nervious. So she showed all of us what happened with us and what we did not show to each other.
Task to develop EI: Every time you communicate with someone try to feel what you feel at that moment and aware where is your feeling and where probably you came in the resonance with other person.
I already told you about primary and secondary feelings, but there is one more type which sometimes is much more difficult to deal with. Let call it Borrowed feelings. I will explain why..
Have you ever felt something that you consider as a strange feelings, something that does not belong to you or even something you dont want to feel? Or probably once you thought: "I feel it, but i cant explain why.. I dont have reasons to feel it...".
For, example, it happens that one feels deep sadness since childhood and you even cant explain why.. Or you can see child who is very agressive - without any visible reason....
Or other day you meet close friend who is very nervious, talk a little bit, come home and feel unreasonable anxiety.
This kind of feelings are called Borrowed feelings, becouse they come to us from other people. We take them from them and feel them instead letting them to feel it by themselves. Of course it happens unconsciously but still it happens.
The question - why?
There is several reasons.
First reason comes from idea that when we communicate at the deepesr level of communication (emoinal level) - we exchange our emotions with other people like we exchange words when we communicate at verbal level. We create common emotional field from emotional conditions of people involved in the communicative process and exchange all what we bring in the procees of communication. And if at verbal level we can filter what to accept or what not to, so at emotional level very often we dont recognize and dont filter - just recieve everything what other people send to us. and not only recieve but also adopt it.
So its very important to be aware about your emotional own condition - to be able to recognize what is yours and what was brought there from other people.
The second reason is more deeper.
it goes from system approach which states that we can not consider one person as separate from the hople system he is included. The most importnat systen for everyone is Family. With parents, grandparents and several generations before you.
Sometimes it happens, that in previous generations someone had difficult destiny and had to keep strong feelings - guilt, agression, fears or even love or happines - and this feelings go to next generation untill someone pick it up and start feel. It means that family as a closed system dont let our feelings go outside - it keeps them inside and can pass from generation to generation.
The same happens with our children. if you see something strange happens to your child and you cant explain what is it, look at what happens between parents. Very often our children shows us real picture of our partners relations. They are like mirrow of the family- becouse they can not pretend and just express what they catc from the "family field of relations".
Once I saw this scene. At the funeral of my father everyone kept themselves calm and unemotional. But my daughter showed terrible behavior which she never showed before and after - she yelled, cried, was nervious. So she showed all of us what happened with us and what we did not show to each other.
Task to develop EI: Every time you communicate with someone try to feel what you feel at that moment and aware where is your feeling and where probably you came in the resonance with other person.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Feeling for November - is TRUST...
Move from a place of knowing within you rather than as a result of adaptation to outer experience. Let go of you assumptions and need to control life's creative process.
It does not matter what spiritual path you’re on, an ultimate sense of peace comes down to one question: Can you let go of the need to control your life, and trust there is a benevolent force guiding all that ever has, is, and will happen?
Trust is the soul's way of attuning to a fundamental law of reality. There is a deep rhythm that moves through all life that cannot be controlled by our will.
It does not matter what spiritual path you’re on, an ultimate sense of peace comes down to one question: Can you let go of the need to control your life, and trust there is a benevolent force guiding all that ever has, is, and will happen?
Trust is the soul's way of attuning to a fundamental law of reality. There is a deep rhythm that moves through all life that cannot be controlled by our will.
When trust informs our experience, it allows our psyche to relax and our soul to be at peace with our situation. We can rest in unquestioned confidence that the universe provides, that we have and will receive what we really need. In fact, often beyond what we alone are even capable of imagining.
When we have a lot of basic trust, we are courageous and take risks. We don't suppress our competencies. We engage in life wholeheartedly, doing what feels appropriate with the confidence that it will work out. Life becomes a story of creation not an obstacle course.
Without basic trust, we tend react to what arises in accordance with our conditioning wanting our process to go one way or another. We cling to predetermined assumptions and outcomes. We become tense and contracted and do all we can to manipulate the circumstances to fit with our desires.
Here is a suggestion for changing the automatic internal response to external signals. When a traffic light turns yellow and there is a safe distance to stop before it turns red, what do you tend to do? Do you accelerate to 'make it through'? If so, this is a metaphor for what happens inside when our yellow worry light goes off — we accelerate; try harder, move faster, do more, all stress responses to our conditioning. Trust is the ability to stop and wait for the green light to signal the time to move forward again.
Why not, for the month of November, practice putting on the brakes when the light is yellow and taking that moment to pause and breathe in trust and the deeper rhythm of life while waiting for the green light to again signal you to go.
May Trust increase your capacity for loving thoughts and kind actions.
©1981-2010 InnerLinks
When we have a lot of basic trust, we are courageous and take risks. We don't suppress our competencies. We engage in life wholeheartedly, doing what feels appropriate with the confidence that it will work out. Life becomes a story of creation not an obstacle course.
Without basic trust, we tend react to what arises in accordance with our conditioning wanting our process to go one way or another. We cling to predetermined assumptions and outcomes. We become tense and contracted and do all we can to manipulate the circumstances to fit with our desires.
Here is a suggestion for changing the automatic internal response to external signals. When a traffic light turns yellow and there is a safe distance to stop before it turns red, what do you tend to do? Do you accelerate to 'make it through'? If so, this is a metaphor for what happens inside when our yellow worry light goes off — we accelerate; try harder, move faster, do more, all stress responses to our conditioning. Trust is the ability to stop and wait for the green light to signal the time to move forward again.
Why not, for the month of November, practice putting on the brakes when the light is yellow and taking that moment to pause and breathe in trust and the deeper rhythm of life while waiting for the green light to again signal you to go.
May Trust increase your capacity for loving thoughts and kind actions.
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